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hiii to do list that wont make sense to anyone but me will prob delete later hehe

redo text on stamp thing, idk how to but will figure out later also remember most recent post goes ontop
make a page directory esc thing, where ppl can choose rather than just go here first as this is prob the blog page now idk lol
possible locked screen where you have to find the password

Dracula and Anxiety

10/30/22 2:11pm

todays blinkie

status- woke up late, anxious

Omg.. ! I woke up so late to day and I thought I had class today. Very bad start to the morning but i realized it was sunday and got rlly releived. SOoo i took a shower, grabbed my book Dracula (ooo intellectuall book momentlolol) and took my meds b4 going to breakfast at like 12 pm or sutmin. I didnt eat a ton but I started to read and oooooooo my god the mc is ignoring all the red flags. I always considered myself not great at reading on account of my Adhd, so I always get anxious reading, but ive been working on tryna get more comfortable reading and not caring so much about perfection. So Today was important so far bc I started to read, i listened to OverlySarcasticproductions read it and sure it took me forever to just get halfway thru chapter 1 but hey !!!!! i started at least. So far I like the book, I like how its written in letters and the author makes us feel dread bc the mc is ignoring all the red flags. everyone in town is legit tryna stop him from seeing the count dracula and hes like "huh.. these people r weird lol" LOL. Im still anxious now as I write, because I have school work today and I was gonna start at 3 but its already 2:30pm.. I just ugh.. Idk ! i also dont know what to put here for now,, I dotn rlly have energy to write so I may stop here and add more thru the day. Maybe I'll show everyone my real time reaction to dracula. I think also I just get nervous typing here bc again perfectionism..but IDK! i wanna write but also Im sooo sleepy but also I wanna read and be a cool book person. Idk..Ill figure out what to do lolol. I can always add on to this later :)! Okay thats it for now. bye ig! uwa i dont wanna go but also i do .. what is a poor poor maccy to do. Its like I wanna write so indepth rn and discuss all my feelings and thoughts but I think 1) im tired and 2) i tend to always do this in writing so like a pavlovian response to the emotional dranage that takes is happening on me lolol so basically jsut writing gets me tired possibly. Speaking of I love psychology, will have to write more abt this later. Also does anyone else start acting like the media they consume? like Rn i wanna write like some old timey writer like in the book LOL. but anyways See ya! sm I wanna do hehe. also its already almost 3 but im just gonna post some images i like which remings me of a secret love of mine this old vn called Peace Pieces or something like that ? and Too Heart. hehe So much I like I can barely contain it all!

First post! Happy halloween

10/30/22 12:26am-3am

todays blinkie

status- I didnt do my school work and i want candy,,,uwaaaaaa adhd been sorta bad want spicy food

OMG HIII!!!!!!
I've never blogged b4 dont expect a lot of these im so bad at posting lolol! already this has taken me so long (its already 1:30 am) bc im such a perfectionist! i want to make cute things for this website. i also am struggling to stay focused as I'll scroll around on the internet looking for solutions (im teaching myself html in real time here lol) and cute things to add to this place! I'm unsure about letting this page go public yet bc the website is so unfinished that Idk! im a perfectionist at heart lol. and overly ambitious bc I wanted to make this website a in character place to explore (think 8eyes mixed witha arg elements), but this already has taken me days to code sooooooooooooo.....idk abt that loL! im also a college student so I have little time to myself. my mind is frequently spacing out when i write this and im not sure what to write. hm ig no one knows much abt me.. im an artist who loves horror, anime, movies, comics, a ton of aesthetics, music, and animals and history. i think bc its so late that my brain is just struggling to keep up. I didnt do any of my school work so i feel really bad:( ! im kinda new to this part of the internet , im used to social media lolol. I collect plushies too btw! also this will probably be horrible to read and nothing will be in order, usually journals are just streams of conciousness for me. Hopefully I cant try to make a post every day, though I usually spend hours just looking for cute images to add as i tend not to plan this stuff in advance so it takes me so much longer than usual.
Maybe I should change the bg color of these post to a cute bg ,,,idk !!!! I get rlly anxious and shy >_< i want everything to be so perfect lolol! sadly today hasnt been great as ive been thinking of my dad a lot, tbh this website could be my secret diary ,,idk,,,,maybe,,LOL no one has to see this ig. idk lolol , i just try to make myself share less bc i tend to overshare and i get worried adn embarassed. but yeah originally this was gonna be incharacter but im just being myself rn lolol !! thats why this website rn is themed as a portal, so conflicting if i want to make a cohesive design or a eyesore of a page,,ig i could always chagne it hehe. but it feels kinda nice to just talk. Myabe ill try to do this in the mornings or at night, my therapist wants me to try and do something fun in the mornings to make me motivated to get out of bed. LOL i sound like a dreamily sad movie character rn. but omg i love halloween sm im so glad its halloween every day is halloween for me >:3
I should also say i tend to talk a lot, and i was gonna try to make this like other blogs but I think me rambling will be just fine :)! I wanna say more, and sometimes writing makes me rlly anxious bc I have so many things i wanna say but only so much energy, so sadly i think im going to go. oh btw I think im going to copy philip defranko and add a secret link :3! also i tend to write even after i say goodbye LOL but i wish there was a way to like,,,idk add a unique bg to each post. i have sm ideas for this website, but eek im getting anxious so ill say one more think I love lain !:3 ehehe i told u i have sm thoughts i refuse to keep locked up,,i want food ehehe. okay bye fr i dont think i need to blog every thought,,how else will i be mysterious. ps, find a way to maket this look cute